15 parenting mistakes you don’t know you’re making

2 Nov

Source: Full Article (with elaboration for each of these 15 mistakes)

1. Call her “stupid” or “useless”
2. Decide everything for her
3. Overemphasize the importance of obedience
4. Don’t show affection
5. Discipline her when they are angry
6. Show conditional (or seemingly conditional) love
7. Compare her with her siblings or with other children her age
8. Praise her for her ability, instead of her effort
9. Set boundaries but don’t enforce them
10. Allow their emotions to get the better of them
11. Attempt to achieve their unfulfilled dreams through her
12. Continually bail her out of trouble
13. End arguments by saying “I know what’s best for you”
14. Shield her from challenges and discomfort
15. Allow her to become the center of the family’s universe

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Those in bold.. Guilty!

3. Overemphasize the importance of obedience
I must admit, we do micro-manage the gems at times.. Especially when we are going out. Sometimes the little gems are excited and/or curious to be in new environments.. Hence, they may want to stay at the area, run about, jump around. But we may not have the time for them to play! Sorry gems! We need to follow our schedules!

Also, we tend to be protective.. Hence, we’ll micro-manage them so that they will be safe from danger!

15. Allow her to become the center of the family’s universe

We are the adults so we are more cooperative and will follow the schedules.. Kids don’t care about such stuff.. So it’s a lot easier if we plan our schedules based on the gems’ preferences (plus eating and sleeping time!)..

Generally for these 2 mistakes.. Our lifestyles are so hectic and fast-paced nowadays! Even when we go overseas for holidays, it’ll still be hectic because we usually try to explore as much places as possible.. Afterall.. We don’t get to travel that often, do we? On average, maybe 1 – 3 times a year? (JB trips are not considered hor! So near!)

So for me, these 2 mistakes are pretty inevitable since we need to be efficient.. Even when it comes to holidaying!

~~~

12. Continually bail her out of trouble

14. Shield her from challenges and discomfort

Same reason as Point 3.. We are too protective! Mamalove is the worst lah! Haha! Always to the rescue when the gems are being punished for doing naughty things! Especially Leroy!

I do try to let them make mistakes and suffer the consequences.. Eh, at times. It’s a good way to learn! Being too protective will make them being selfish / dependent / lazy.. And ultimately, they won’t be able to survive in this increasingly competitive society!

But having said that.. Really heartbroken when the gems are sad / scared / in pain.. !!!

~~~

Sometimes I rather they grow up to be happy and (a little) pampered.. Never mind! At most, Ah Mai me will take care of them until my very last breath!!

But to be realistic.. They surely will outlive me by many years lah!

And sometimes they throw tempers or they are rude to us.. Wah! Not cute at all! Where did my lovely angels go!? (Become si ginas liao!)  Hence.. As much as I love to pamper them, I must control!!

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